


Mama's boy

by Bl4ckHunter



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Crack Fic, Mommy Issues, Not for fans of Robin Wood, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 07:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30136095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/pseuds/Bl4ckHunter
Summary: One-shot story. Crack fic. Faith comes up with a bit drastic method to get rid of Robin.
Relationships: Faith Lehane/Robin Wood
Kudos: 1





	Mama's boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aragorn_II_Elessar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/gifts).



> I went back and forth whether to get at Robin or not, but I figured, 'Oh, well.' Inspired by HIMYM.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Buffyverse.

Tara handed Faith a vial with potion. "Here you go. Empath potion focused on childhood memories."

"Do I seriously have to do that?" Faith groaned.

"Do you want to get Robin off your back or not?" Willow asked and Faith considered before swallowing the vomit forming in her mouth, much to her disgust and discomfort before she swallowed the potion. "OK, when you get near Robin, try to soothe him and make him as comfortable as possible. Hopefully, this is going to freak him out."

"Fine." Faith said, shuddering. "But whether this works or not, you owe me one for putting me into this uncomfortable position."

* * *

Robin was in the bar, when Faith approached. "Hey, there."

"Hey." Robin said as they embraced each other and Faith, much to her discomfort, placed her hand on the back of Robin'h neck and started to stroke hin across back, like how his mother did it as Robin relaxed, humming. "Yes…"

Faith suppressed the groan and forced a smile out. If she would become Robin's surrogate for his mother, she made a mental note to kill Willow and Tara.

"I have a special treat for you, darling." Faith said as she turned to the bartender, who showed a cup of ice cream with whipped cream and cherry on the top.

"My favorite one!" Robin exclaimed happily like a child as Faith frowned for a second as he tasted the ice cream. "Thank you."

Faith considered. Well, this was not the trigger she had hoped for. Which meant she had to go deeper and then she shuddered at the thought. If she was going to do that in bed, she would probably shower herself to clean that stain for hours.

* * *

Faith was later in the apartment, watching TV, when Robin entered, with a black eye and bruises on his face.

"Good God, what happened?" Faith asked with feigned worry, though she had a pretty good idea as he sat down on the couch, looking beaten.

"Spike." Robin said, sighing and feeling himself deflate and Faith refrained herself from rolling her eyes. He needed to get over his mommy issues. Well, if this was not going to work…

"Come here." Faith said, pulling Robin in for a hug and stroking his back again as Robin relaxed. "Why don't I sing you something to lighten the mood?"

Robin's eyes widened as he suddenly got a flashback. Those words to comfort him, the only other person, who said them, asides from Faith, was…

" _Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens._ " Faith sang as Robin got a flashback, from when he was a child in bed.

* * *

_"Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens_ _." Nikki sang to Robin, when he was a boy, at his bedside._

* * *

" _Brown paper packages tied up with strings  
__These are a few of my favorite things._ " Faith sang and Robin suddenly felt like if his mother and his girlfriend were singing in unison, seeing both Nikki and Faith at once in front of him as he got more and more uncomfortable.

" _When the dog bites_  
_When the bee stings_  
_When I'm feeling sad_  
_I simply remember my favorite things_  
_And then I don't feel so bad_ …"

Faith then approached Robin as they laid down, with Faith obviously enjoying the uncomfortable look on Robin's face, who suppressed the urge to groan and vomit as Faith kissed him before he got up, while she was about to unbutton his shirt.

"Is everything alright?" Faith asked.

"Yeah, I just… remembered something." Robin said, buttoning his shirt. "Look, I like you, Faith but… I'm not in the mood now for anything… intimate. Sorry. Gotta go!" He ran off in haste and slammed the door behind him, starting to scream as he realized his pathological need for surrogate mom and obsession with Slayers. "Aaaagh!" He then groaned in disgust and tried to hold back the vomit forming in his mouth.

Faith smirked as she got up and did a victory dance, shaking her hips. "Oh, yeah! That did it! I got rid of that pathetic mamma's boy!" And on the top of it, she didn't have to go too intimate with him to get rid of him, since she would have been more uncomfortable with the idea than Robin would.

**Author's Note:**

> Barney getting uncomfortable from comparing Nora to Loretta was hilarious and let's face it, the only reason Robin was fascinated with first Buffy and then Faith was because of his mommy issues and his fascination with the Slayers because of his Mom being one.
> 
> Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.
> 
> With regards
> 
> Bl4ckHunter


End file.
